I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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