I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
