i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
