he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
