I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
