Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
