I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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