I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Welp...herpes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
