Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
