You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Naked. naked and bneed help.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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