before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
