Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
