At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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