We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
