We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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