Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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