yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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