"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
