no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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