she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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