Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
