I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
