Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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