i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize