Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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