Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
