if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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