It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
