just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
