my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
