Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
