i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize