Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
