Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize