On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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