so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
