Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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