ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
