Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
