Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
