Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
