Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
