Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
