They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
