Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
