yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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