I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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