So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
