hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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