In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
