piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
