If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
