i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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