Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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