We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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