I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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