People in love make me want to vomit
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
