You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
