I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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