I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
