you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Randomize