There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
