Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You ate ashes out of my bong
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
